Friday, December 17, 2010

At least I can sometimes make it here for fill ins!

Hubby just started leave today around 12:30PM so I MIGHT be able to write a little more in the next 2 weeks. We shall see! I may ask my friend to look after the little ones maybe once a week for an hour so I can get on and do my thing here just so I can write. I have so much to catch up on and everything's crazy!

So, here's this week's fill in from Wifey!

1. What is the best gift you have ever received or given?
My husband LOVED the laptop I bought him for the last underway. It was his "new baby" gift since he bought me one with my daughter, I figured why not buy him one for his son. He got to see pictures and everything that I got to send him a couple times during mail drops. It was the only way to see his son for the first 8 weeks of his life. I think that got him through those 8 weeks, and of course seeing me and his little girl helped the 4 weeks previous to that too!

2. Do you celebrate holidays differently when your loved one is deployed/gone or do you keep tradition?
I now try to keep things as normal as possible since having my kids. Whether hubby is home or not, we go to church, we open presents, we have dinner either here or at a friend's house (usually family also, just adopted!) I've found great comfort in my church family since coming here. I don't know what I would do without them. My military family is becoming more and more amazing too. It's just a blessing to have so many people that WANT to be a part of my family's life. I don't know what I would do without them!

3. If you celebrate Christmas, do you put an angel, star or something else on the top of your tree?
I FINALLY found an angel I liked at Bronners this past Easter, so this year is our first year with a true angel on top. A few years previous my mom lent me a crafty angel she received as a gift from this amazing woman in our lives. It made me think of her and made me feel like she was really the angel sitting on my tree watching down from heaven. I miss you Mrs. Kosa!

4. What are your three favorite websites?,, and Those are the main websites I go to. I know, it's lame but I don't really have time for much else.

5. On your man do you prefer… boxers, briefs or boxer briefs? Or commando?
Well...because the only thing I've ever seen my husband in is boxers, I would say boxers. I think I would like boxer briefs better though since I think boxers and briefs both look weird and yuck, but combined they cover enough for my liking.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Friday Fill In!

So, I'm a little late. We had some problems this morning and I didn't get around to it until now. Hubby had some car problems this morning...on his way to work one of his tires blew out. I had to wake the kids up at 6:30AM to drive to the dealership and wait for him to get there with the tow truck. We have over $300 in damages because the rim is completely trashed. He's without a car for a week. Yuckie! Oh well! Life goes on!

On to the fill in!!! Don't know that anyone will be really interested but that's okay :)

1. What do you see your life like in 10 years?
In 10 years, my 4th child should be around 6 years old. Wookie will be out of the Navy and working somewhere here in Washington. My parents will be out here (I hope). We'll have a dog and hopefully still our cat. I'll be able to read and blog a lot more. I might be able to have a part time job too if I want and find something I like. I'll have smaller boobs and hopefully have a better body by then too!

2. What do you like most about your job?
I love that I'm the one raising my kids, not some daycare or nanny or something. I love seeing the changes every day and seeing the love in their eyes and smiles. It's so wonderful. Nothing will ever top this!

3. What are three things you do every day, no matter what day it is?
Use the bathroom, Hug my kids, Think about Wookie (if he's home, I kiss him, if he's out to sea, I "talk" to him before bed in my head)

4. What would you do with an extra five hours in the day today?
Sleep, be online, read, take a couple hot showers...I don't know really.

5. What is your favorite Christmas (or whichever holiday you celebrate) cookie recipe (please share!)?
My favorite is an Anise Seed cookie. It's amazing! It's a secret family recipe though so I can't post it. They are the only Christmas cookie I've ever had though! The reason it's a secret family recipe is because my Mimi was given the wrong recipe and it was supposed to take horrible (my Pipi's sisters didn't like her so they changed things in their mom's recipe). Turns out, the recipe was BETTER than the original! I'm making them for the first time this year by myself!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

This is in case I don't have time tomorrow

Friday's MilSpouse Fill In! by Wife Of A Sailor

1. Were you named after anyone?
Technically no, but I do know that my dad's old girlfriend was named Stephanie and they called her Stevie, and also I have a great aunt named Eileen and my mom and dad had a friend Eileen.

2. What color, if any, are your toenails usually painted?
I usually don't have painted nails

3. How do you flush a public toilet? Hands? Feet? Something else?
Hands or feet...depends on my mood and what I have with me

4. When you were a little kid, which TV character did you have a crush on?
Randy Taylor *swoon*

5. Let’s say you had to lose one of your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell). Which one would you choose? Why?
Smell or Taste because I don't think I could deal with not seeing, hearing, or feeling things, especially the wonderfulness that is my kids!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Videos of my adorable kids!

My daughter and son are my world. I love them with all that I am. I am proud of everything they do already.

The first video is going to be of Caralyn. She will be 2 next month and she now does backflips off the couch :) She's adorable!

The second video I want you to check out is of Alaric. He makes the same face that Caralyn did when I sang to her. Now, Ric loves me singing but when I do some things in a certain tone he HATES it and does the face! I just think it's too cute!

This will be my last post for now I guess :) My hubby just got home from work and it's time to start working on my house and stuff. Laundry will be finished this weekend, Cara's room will be started and I will be cleaning like a madwoman! I hate how dirty my house has gotten since having Alaric. It's so not cool!

I hope you enjoy the videos! There are more on my YouTube :) Just search for shortcake5284 if you want to see more!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

PoeKitten at Many Waters has introduced me to MilSpouse Friday Fill-Ins! I think this is really great. You can find out more about this from Wifey at Wife of a Sailor. I hope you enjoy!

This week’s questions are:

1. What’s the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
The nicest thing a stranger has done for me is thank me for supporting my husband. I thought it was just part of the job as a wife for me to support him in all he does. I don't honestly think I've done anything special. Yes, I spend half the year as a single mother that is married, but isn't that what I signed up for when I said "I Do"? It brought tears to my eyes when he explained that it takes a special kind of woman to stay faithful during those times and a strong woman to actually be married to a military man, that he's seen so many men lose their wives because they couldn't handle the lifestyle. I wish that man could see me now with two beautiful children that I'm teaching to support Papa no matter how hard it is and no matter how long he's gone.

2. If you are having a hard time going to sleep, what do you do to help yourself?
I usually get online or start reading or doing crosswords or something. Reading always makes me tired. My eyes can't handle the stress of small print so it's my main go-to.

3. Name something that makes you wish you were a kid again.
All the toys and outfits that I buy for my kiddos. They make me miss the old days of no responsibilities and super cute clothes and fun toys.

4. What is something you never believed until you experienced it?
I never thought it was possible for older people to be so immature and naive and full of drama. I always thought that ended after high school. Boy was I wrong!

5. What can’t you say “no” to?
Buying my kids cute clothes and toys...especially when they are so cute about asking for something!

I won an award!

That's right! My friend Poekitten has awarded me with my first award for my blog. I never thought my own personal blog would ever do anything like this, but I guess I was wrong! Thank you Poekitten! I appreciate it! Check out her blog! She has some really awesome stuff in it! Her crafts, cooking stuff, milspouse fill-ins, and so much more! She's a great gal and I learn so much from her daily!

On to the rules for accepting this award...

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.
2. Pay it forward to 5 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.
3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been chosen.

The 5 people I'm passing it on to...

1. My cousin Angie at I Organize You
2. Heather at Our Road To A Family Of Six
3. Kira at Stephanie's Journey
4. Nicole at Thoughts of a Mother
5. Joycers at Smudgeville

Angie and Heather have two blogs that I know of, both are wonderful, but these are the ones I read regularly. Angie's second is a new one and is just starting. Heather's second is a contest/giveaway/product evaluation type blog. It's a fun one for sure! Kira also has a second blog, which is a personal blog. The one that I have awarded is her mom's journey through chemo. It's touching and very heartfelt to see how they have gone through it all. Nicole is very thoughtful and is an amazing woman. I am proud to call her a friend, even if we had a rough start and don't really communicate much in the real world even to this day. Joycers blog is full of her wonderful creations. I love them so much! My son looked so cute in his vest she made for him and my daughter still wears her hat around the house all year long. She doesn't keep it on much but we have to know where it is in case she wants to put it on for a few moments. I think everyone should check them all out!

And thank you again, Poekitten!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

*Said in a Jeff Foxworthy voice*

"You might be a BAMA WIFE if you see "his" car out in town and cry because SOON it could be him!"

Today I was driving to Target and looked in my rear view mirror like you're supposed to every 8 seconds and there it was...Josh's blue Kia Rio...military stickers and all...only it wasn't Josh's car...obviously...I started crying.

I didn't cry because I was sad, but because soon it very possibly COULD be him! I'm so excited about the fact that he'll be coming home soon. I can't wait to be pierside and see him come off the boat to meet his son for the first time. Hell, even writing that I'm tearing up. I'm so excited for it! I can't believe it's almost here...almost time!

I'm still sad that Josh will have missed 8 weeks of his son's life...correction, the FIRST 8 weeks of his life, but I knew before I married him it could happen. It's not so much that I needed the help or anything, but so much has happened to him in 8 much has changed. I wish he could've at least seen and hugged him within the first 2 weeks. Had they not been extended in the beginning (they went out 2-3 weeks early) he would've been here for the birth of his son. He would've left like the day after, but he would've been here in the very least.

Speaking of his son, he's ready to eat again. Then hopefully he'll go to bed for the night. He's been staying up really late the past couple nights. Could be the cold, could be the fact that the Similac he's had has been recalled because of possible insect parts and larvae in it. Ugh...that's a whole other blog and rant though!

Good night y'all!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Come Home Soon

The song by SHeDaisy has been going through my head the last couple weeks. Underway is almost done, he will be home soon. These last few weeks will be going by so slow, but there are only a few weeks left, which makes my heart jump for joy and sing praises to God that they aren't extended longer than they already have been (so far)!

This underway has gone by fairly fast since Alaric's birth. It has only slowed down the last few days. I have been keeping myself busy as much as humanly possible. I go for walks at the mall at least every other day, I take drives and have started exploring the town I moved to a year ago, I go to Friday morning coffee with the BAMA ladies, Wednesday morning Play Group have started back up, Church on Sundays or Mondays depending on how late Cara has slept in until...the list goes on. Caralyn and Alaric keep me plenty busy too!

Caralyn is doing so well with Alaric. I'm so proud of her! She is very helpful, a mini mommy. She carries around her baby doll a lot now too. If mommy has brother, she has baby. She also LOVES holding Alaric! She does really well for not even being 2! She helps pick out his clothes too. We've started working on ABC's, 123's and colors. She's doing pretty good but she isn't saying anything by herself yet. She doesn't really want to so I'm not rushing her. She'll do it in her own time. She loves reading though! She has me reading to her almost all day every day...anytime I'm sitting she's bringing me books. I LOVE it! I catch her sitting on her little couch reading to herself a lot now too. It's so cute!

Alaric...well, he's growing so much so fast. I can't believe he's already 6 weeks old. He's holding his head up most of the time already and has been since he was just hours old. I can't wait for daddy to meet him! I'm so anxious and excited for it to happen! I can't wait to see Josh's reaction to the realization that he actually has a son now. It's going to be priceless. Josh will be happy that he's in his own bed fort he most part already too. The only time he's in bed with me is when he's up for too many hours and I'm exhausted and need sleep. He falls asleep easier in bed with me and Cara usually.

As for me...I'm great. I'm still going strong on the homefront for Josh and the kids. I'm loving being a mom to two kids. I'm ready to do it again and have a third. I can't wait until I can start bugging Josh to have another baby. I know I have to wait until at least August though. Josh wants to wait 2-3 years though. We'll see where the compromise leads us...and what God's plans really are.

I have to end this here for now. My netbook is about to die on me since I've been on it much of the night. I also have to get ready to leave anyway since I'm meeting someone to drop off a step stool for their toddler (I have 3...I don't need 3...) I'll hopefully be writing a little more often now that Alaric is napping well in his crib and Caralyn lets me get on the computer a little more often now for the most part.

Later all!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Happy Birthday!

Though my husband is being a hero and is under the water until later this month or early next month, I must acknowledge his birthday today.

28 years ago my wonderful mother in law brought into this world the love of my life. I will be forever grateful for her going through that pregnancy and raising him by herself for the first couple of years of his life.

I am grateful for his adopted dad for being there for him and helping to raise him even though he wasn't biologically his.

I am grateful for his biological dad being there for us the last few years.

I am grateful for his step dad for helping us when we need it, even when he can't really afford to help us. I'm sure knowing we will pay him back as fast as humanly possible helps with that effort.

I am grateful for his step mom for being so wonderful to us and being impartial and supportive of everything and also for making me feel comfortable in her home when I felt shunned by almost the whole family.

I am grateful for his Grandma and Papa for taking him in during high school and helping to raise such a wonderful man.

I am grateful for his Grandpa Dorcey for always being there for us, even me, whenever we need him, even if it's just to talk or complain.

I am grateful for his Grandma J, Grandpa Tucker, Grandma Lenore and Grandma Tucker. I don't know them well, but they have certainly welcomed me into the family with no hesitation or questions asked.

Joshua Michael Luplow, you have given me two wonderful kids (so far) of my own, loved me for who I am even with my faults and quirks, stood up for me in rough times, stood by me through hard decisions and hard times, I will never be able to express how much I truly love you and appreciate you and what you do for me.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday under the water. I can not wait for your safe return so we can celebrate this wonderful day together. I love you and miss you very much! Caralyn misses you more than anything in this world. And I'm sure Alaric can't wait to meet his daddy!

Love you and miss you,
Yours always and forevermore,

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Not to complain or anything...

But I'm so sick of not having alone time to do things I need to do!

I want to take a long relaxing shower and actually have time to shave! I want to be able to clean my room without Caralyn following behind me and destroying it again as soon as I finish. Same thing for the dining and living rooms. I want to cook without hearing Caralyn scream bloody murder for not being able to be in the kitchen with me. I want to be online for more than just a few moments at a time to email Josh a good long email letting him know how everything really is around here and how much I miss and love him. I want to lay on the couch and maybe take a nap and relieve some of this pain I'm in from Alaric being in a weird position. I would like to go to the hospital to be checked out to make sure the pain is normal and maybe get on some new meds so I can be out of pain for the majority of the day since Tylenol isn't doing anything for me.

These things won't happen anytime soon and I know it, but it would be nice. Josh did so much for me while he was home the last few months that I feel so overwhelmed with exhaustion. Just taking a shower alone would be nice. I can deal with the rest really (other than the hospital stuff since I can't deal with Cara while being monitored). The only bad part of Josh being so helpful is that he worried so much about how I would do alone that he put me into pre-term labor for a couple weeks before he left. I have only had a little labor since he left which is nice...but now I don't know if because of the pre-term labor I'm not feeling the contractions as hard as I should. I have to wait for my water to break again.

Anyway, just a little complaint blog even though I hate complaining when Josh is gone. It's not that I can't handle him being away, it's just the end of pregnancy hormones getting to me really. I'm always frustrated at the's just how I am I guess. Worse this time because of how he is positioned and because I have a toddler already to drive me nuts. LoL!

Have a wonderful day everyone!


Saturday, July 10, 2010

Horton-Schroeder Wedding

This evening is my cousin's wedding. She is going from a Dr. Seuss character to a Peanuts character. These guys definitely fit the bill for the comedy of it. My family (well her family I guess) is hilarious. Her dad is a comedian and an Elvis impersonator. He is wonderful at what he does in the professional world too. The rest is for fun, but man oh man, if I don't shake my son out from laughing tonight, I will be amazed! Chris is a pretty funny guy too, I don't know his family, just him. He's a good guy. I'm glad Jess has found him. If he ever hurts her, I will kill him, though I know the line is probably extremely long for that.

I can not believe that a year ago I was talking about the wedding and looking forward to spending their wedding evening with my wonderful husband and daughter. Things surely change in a year. Tonight I will be spending time with my daughter and enjoying their wedding immensely but I will have to send pictures to my husband so he can live it through me. This is day 5 of an up to 15 week underway. He had to leave 3 weeks early. I'm not complaining but it definitely sucks. Josh and I haven't been to a wedding together since our own almost 5 years ago. He loves this part of my family like crazy too so he's rather sad. I think he's mainly sad that he doesn't get to pick on my cousin Meghan relentlessly. He misses being able to be himself around someone other than me. Meghan is the perfect target and she fires them back which he loves even more! They can play off each other for hours, and of course big brother Tim loves it too.

I don't know what I'm more excited for...seeing Jess get married to Chris or seeing the whole family at once. I haven't been up to Sequim since Thanksgiving so I haven't seen Jess, Chris, Jenn, Aunt Lynn, Uncle Guy, Uncle Chuck, Aunt Boots, Aunt Laura and Uncle Bill in a LONG time. It's been even longer for Aunt Margie, Tim and Meghan...and I'm FINALLY meeting Uncle Terry for the first time (they live in Colorado). And yet longer for Aunt Sue, Uncle Len, Andrew and Adam, though I've seen Andrew once more than the rest of them since he came out when Cara was younger (they live in Illinois). I don't know if there are more people for me to meet or not. I think my cousins Doug and Heather may be coming out with their parents, if they are, I haven't seen them since the summer after 3rd grade. CRAZY!

After today, my little boy can come anytime he wants and I'll be happy. I just do NOT want to miss this wedding and family time. Cara and I have mostly matching dresses to wear. Hers is a block print while mine isn't. Hers has a Navy Blue in it and mine doesn't, but we will look good together for sure. Right now she's sleeping so peaceful that I have to continuously look behind me to see her precious face. I can not wait to meet her brother and have two babies to do this to. Only a month and 2 days until I'm that adds up to 4 weeks and 6 days technically I do not know, but that's what it is. I turned 35 weeks yesterday.

I was having pre-term labor every day for at least 6 hours for a month before Josh left, but now that he's gone and the stress level is lower, I haven't been in labor at all. 4 days of no's amazing! I haven't rested this well in a long time. I hope the stress of getting to Tacoma and everything doesn't put me over the edge for labor today. I refuse to go to the hospital unless my water breaks right now though. I won't even time my contractions unless it gets too horribly bad. Luckily I will have family around if something does happen today! Cara will be in wonderful hands.

Anyway, need to go email Josh and get directions to the wedding location...a rooftop in Tacoma at's going to be amazing! This family does nothing half assed! That's for sure!

Friday, June 11, 2010

My cousin's wife hits it on the nose again...

"wonders why some people can't get over themselves long enough to see how their actions hurt and affect others. Ugh! Praying for eyes to be opened and hearts turned to God."

This was my cousin Eric's wife Stacy's status update on facebook today. I love how she hits what I'm feeling on the head so many times. This is a big reason why I love her. Not only did she marry one of my favorite cousins, she is so much like me in the way we feel about many subjects.

Two family members have me feeling this way, four if you count their spouses also. Not everything has been directed at me and my little family, but my in-laws are my family also, and a lot has been directed at them. It hurts me how little these people care about their family members. Family is the most important thing in life...if you can't count on them and get over petty things with them, you have nothing.

Call your family, whether you're in good with them or are having problems with them, and tell them you love them no matter what happens. Start getting over stupid and petty things and move on with life.

I hate that my son will not know 5 people in his family...4 aunts/uncles and 1 cousin (so far). It's sad. I hate that my daughter has met 3 of the aunts/uncles but will never truly know them. I hate that I will never be able to meet one of the uncles and my nephew. I hate that Josh will never meet his brother in law, nephew and sister in law...and also will probably never be "allowed" to talk to his brother again. It's sad especially for him because he has had nothing to do with any of the bullshit that happened (and that I apologized for yet am still being treated like shit for). He's being punished for being married to me. That is shallow in my eyes. I can't even mention his brother's name without tears almost welling up in his eyes. He misses his brother so much but knows there's nothing more he can do. He's tried so very hard to be in contact with him and his brother just doesn't want anything to do with him because I'm his wife. It's sad...very very sad.

Anyway...That's really all I have time for. I need to go lay down with my beautiful daughter and hope to God these contractions stop soon. I'm sick of Braxton-Hicks Contractions...but alas I have 9 more weeks of them to go through.

Sunday, June 6, 2010


So far, 5 fatalities according to The Toledo Blade. The roof of the water park in Holiday Inn Express, Dundee was torn to shreds. I have a friend that works in that hotel. I hope he's okay...he's a new dad.

I have no clue what the extent of damage is. I have no clue who those 5 fatalities are...any friends? Family? I hope not.

I don't even know how many places were really hit during the storms yesterday...I have to call my parents soon. I have to call my in-laws to make sure they're okay. I know cell reception is down to almost nothing in a lot of areas of Monroe County. I've heard the hardest hit area was Dundee, but that doesn't mean some other places were hit.

I wonder how my Aunt in Milan is doing...she has MS so she wouldn't really be able to get to her basement. I'll have to call her too. So many people I need to call to make sure they're okay. My ex boyfriend's parents still live in Dundee near the worst damage...need to get ahold of him to make sure they're okay.

I hate tornadoes. I know it's a part of life and earth and stuff...but still...they suck. I almost died in one when I was little. I know some people wish I had, but I know plenty of others that are thankful I am still alive, including my family. I am terrified of tornadoes for that reason though...and now bad ones have destroyed a lot of lives of people I used to live sucks.

If you haven't lately, call your family and friends and tell them you love them. If you're on the outs, let this natural disaster that could've harmed them be your way back on the never know, you could regret not being there if something happened.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Good times

Josh remembered and found his special liberty chit from when he reenlisted before Caralyn was born. He got to take off Friday and today (Monday). He also gets to take off Wednesday this week because he did well on a test and got another day of special he gets to go with me to my doctor appointment! YAY! I figure if he doesn't get to be here for the birth of our son, he should be able to go to all my appointments before he leaves. Only fair, right?

Josh's first mother's day was a good one. He actually spoiled the crap out of me. I didn't have to change a single diaper yesterday...which is awesome. I haven't had that since before Caralyn was born! He and Cara both got me Mother's Day cards too! They were so cute! I loved them! Cara's had Elmo on it and actually talked. She just makes my day...most days anyway.

I also got one of the most kick ass Mother's Day presents anyone could ask for! I got my very own paintball gun! Josh got one too...and we have everything else we need for them. We went and bought paint balls yesterday too so I can practice shooting whenever I want. YAY!

The week before was my birthday also. I can't believe I'm 26 years old now. Only 2 years ago did I have my first child and now I'm having my second. I have 4 years to have at least one more child...and I would love to have 2 or 3 more. I would love to be done (or at least have a child) during my 30th year.

OMG for my birthday...Josh took me to see Alice In Wonderland, sans Caralyn. We went to church, got breakfast/lunch, chilled at home, took Caralyn to Joyce's house, went to the movie, then got Caralyn and came home. We were going to go to dinner too, but I just wasn't hungry after the movie. I stuffed myself with popcorn...mmm....popcorn. Anwyay....Caralyn picked out a wireless mouse for me. I guess it was so cute because when Josh told her they were getting mommy a birthday present, she ran to the mouse and wouldn't leave until Josh took it. I needed a new one, and I'd been looking at them a I guess she just knew. Josh on the other hand....he bought me a netbook. He's also going to get my car detailed so I don't have to do it myself.

Now...I know I don't have many readers, and I don't keep this thing for people to read, it's all for me...but I have a feeling for some reason that if I want to talk about anything dealing with family issues and real feelings I need to get out, I'm going to have to make a new one or just write on paper (which I would rather not do). All I ask is that if you do read me, please just leave a comment of any kind. Don't care if it's relevant to my post or not. I know a certain member of my family reads but doesn't comment because they want to use my blog as ammo for why my family is so horrible and why they shouldn't be family with me and my family...then they use it against my husband, who has nothing to do with this journal or the problems they have with my just irritates the hell out of me that someone can be so petty and that I have to keep everything out of my own personal journal just in case they read it (which...since they used my last blog against my husband just hours after I posted it...I know they are probably stalking it).

Anyway, that's it for now. Just remember, please leave some sort of comment if you're reading me. And if you're my stalker, be an adult and stop using crap against an innocent for your own personal benefit. You don't even know my husband, so what's your beef with him? You can tell me your beef with me all you want also, it's what an adult would do.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Michigan Trip so far

So we’re in Michigan right now, as I’m typing. This past weekend we went to Frankenmuth/Saginaw to see his dad, step mom, grandparents and some other family members. In the last blog I was worried about how it would pan out. I am no longer too worried. We had a very enjoyable time there.

I was still very uncomfortable around Josh’s Grandma and it felt like she was trying the least she could to be civil to me, but it’s better than it has been in the past. I had a couple “hi”s and “bye”s from her and not much inbetween. I think the most was her offering me sauerkraut when I asked Josh for a couple bites of his at dinner Friday night. We got “I love you”s from her too, but I know they were mainly at Josh and that’s okay. At least she was civil and didn’t completely ignore the fact that I was there.

The only thing that irked the daylights out of me is what she said to Josh after church. She told him to keep in touch with his siblings, as if he hasn’t been trying since he got back from underway! He just told her that he could only keep in touch as much as they let him. I’m glad he stood up for himself that way, even if it was just a little something. He has been trying and it’s not our fault that Caleb and Holly won’t return phone calls, Instant Messages or emails. I mean, before my “enough is enough” blog, I thought Caleb, Holly and I were fine…I don’t know what the heck I did to ruin that, but nothing is ever their fault so I’m sure I did something without knowing it. Maybe it’s because I still talk to “THAT” side of the family…or because I didn’t take their side of things…who knows. I did nothing wrong, so I will not apologize again…it is their turn. And as for how they’re treating Josh…there is no reason for it. Josh has had nothing to do with the whole situation…the only connection? He’s my husband. It just makes me so mad that they’re this immature. My child seems to grasp maturity and the difference between right and wrong better than them and she’s not even 17 months old yet.

On the good side of things…Friday we got to Frankenmuth and saw Josh’s Grandpa Dorcey. We always love seeing him. He’s a hoot and a half! After that stop we went to see Jeff and Jeanine and to put our things up. Seth was there and we met his girlfriend Brooke. She was really nice from what I could tell. Around 6PM Grandma and Papa Luplow were there and we decided on food. We went to the Bavarian Inn and it was WONERFUL! I was craving roast beef (ewww!) so I got that. It was pretty good. I was surprised.

Saturday we went around downtown Frankenmuth. We went to the Bavarian Inn and Lodge and let Cara play in the play area for awhile. She seemed to enjoy that immensely. We ate at the Ratskeller for lunch. I had a WONERFUL burger and fries. I couldn’t believe how good it tasted. I haven’t had a good burger like that in a long time. We walked downtown and I got to buy my fudge, which I was sooooo happy about! I even got to get my mom some Sugar Free fudge, which doesn’t taste like fudge, but it’s good anyway! She got SF Chocolate and I got Mint Chip, German Chocolate, Chocolate Peanut Butter and Rocky Road. The 4 non SF varieties were to share between me, Josh, my dad and Kacee…also my Aunt Patty if she really wanted some. Cara’s been enjoying a little bit of it too.

Sunday we got up for 8AM service at St. Paul’s (I believe) in Saginaw for Grandma’s birthday. It was a very enjoyable service. When Cara needed changed Josh took her so I could pay attention to service (he’s a wonderful husband like that…he’s amazing and way too good to me!). He kept her downstairs after that to play because I guess she turned into an imp after getting changed. She was a tired little imp after service and was being buttheadish but still so cute! After service we went back to Jeff and Jeanine’s and changed, ate breakfast and hung around until about 12:30PM. We then headed to Bronner’s since we couldn’t get ahold of Grandpa Dorcey. I picked out my new Christmas Tree topper and bought it then left. We got to look around the place a little too. I forgot how huge that place was! We picked up McDonald’s then headed back to my mom and dad’s house.

While we were eating breakfast and a little while afterwards we talked about the sermon and the Caleb stuff. Josh had talked to Jeff about my previous blog before I had gotten down to the kitchen (I packed up while Cara slept on the couch downstairs). I don’t know the conversation, but I hope Jeff understands things a little better. Only God knows for sure. After breakfast while we were sitting around the table Josh told Jeff about Anna getting in contact with him and meeting Brad, Shell, Anna, Samantha and the rest of that part of our family. It’s a huge relief to me that Josh finally told him. I’ve been urging him to do it for awhile, but I understand why Josh was nervous to do so. Jeff took it well and seemed happy that we found another extension of our family. Our family is huge and I love it so much. I feel so blessed to have the family I have, that I have married into and that I am making with Josh. It’s one of God’s amazing gifts that just fill me with awe and wonder.

On the Monroe side of things, life’s been great here. We’ve been staying with my parents. We get to see Penny, Mark and Alea as much as possible. We’ve seen some wonderful friends. I do hate that some people haven’t gotten in touch with us, but I understand that life happens and I can’t see everyone. I would need a year here to do that…and I’m not willing to live here for another year. LoL!

We have taken Cara to Munson Park a couple times. The first time Seth and Alea came out with Chulo and Chloe. The second we saw an old friend and his daughter, which was really nice. I wish I were able to be closer to him like I used to be, but it’s impossible. We have gone to dinner at Mongolian BBQ (my favorite!) and Cracker Barrel. We had Easter lunch at a Mexican place with Penny, Mark and Seth which was great. We’ve gone to the mall to walk around a couple times. I’ve gotten to go out with my mom to shop for new clothes for Cara and Alaric along with going to lunch at Olga’s with her just like old times. We went to Livonia and ate at Steak ‘N Shake with Bryan, then Josh went back to Detroit later that evening to see him again hosting Karaoke. My Aunt JoAnne came to my parents house to visit…I got to go to my friend Sarah’s ultrasound with her and her mom…it’s just been a great visit.

We only have a couple more plans. We are having dinner with our dear friends tonight. Bryan and his girlfriend are supposed to come down on Friday sometime to see us and then Josh and I will be going to karaoke for a little while with Cassie and Jeff. I’m so excited and can’t wait!

The only things I do have to do before we leave are go to see my Pipi and try to get ahold of my Aunt Pat and Uncle Keith so we can go say hi to them. I have to eat at least one Vince’s Chili Dog and eat some Fried Cauliflower from Blue Streak…after that, I’ll be satisfied, though I would LOVE to eat at Mongolian BBQ again before we leave…there is nowhere in Washington that compares to that place. Not even close!

I shall wrap up for now. I may write again about the rest of the trip after I get home. I don’t know. It’s taken me two tries to actually finish this…and the second I’ve been tired and it looks like it isn’t as well put together as the first time…I could be wrong, but I just am not happy with it, but oh well! ‘Tis life!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


That is my new baby's name. I found out on March 19 that I was having a boy! I'm so excited about this! It's a dream come true! I've always wanted a boy and a girl in that order, but a girl then a boy is perfect for me also. There is a good possibility we may just continue as a family of 4, but there's also that possibility that we will have 1-3 more kids in the future. You never know what the future will hold...and I will leave it up to God as to how many more I should really have, if any.

This pregnancy has been a blessing in pretty much every way possible. With Cara I was on bed rest and pelvic rest and so tired all the time and just had a hard time. I didn't honestly know how I was going to get through this pregnancy with a toddler on my hands. I have been surprised that I have energy, I can move around and do anything I want, I'm fairly comfortable and I haven't been put on any kind of "rest". It's wonderful and has made me want to do it again someday...just not this fast again! LoL!

I do still get tired, especially if I force myself to sleep more than 4 hours at a time (which is always) but it's not like I get to have set naps every day with Caralyn. She goes to sleep when she wants to. Lately she will actually take starting between 10 and 12 and another starting between 3 and 5. I hate when she takes late naps, but it happens.

On another note, I have my last OB appt before going to MI today. I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow and we leave Friday night and arrive Saturday early morning. We are in MI until April 17. I'm excited about most of the trip...the part where we'll be in Monroe/LaSalle. I'm anxious and worried about going to Saginaw for a weekend. There's still some bad blood between Josh's dad and myself and Josh's Grandma and myself. This will be the first time Josh is face to face with ANY of his family since the Caleb stuff started happening. I'm honestly worried.

We have decided that if I am treated poorly or just completely ignored or "cold shouldered" that Josh will say something. If he doesn't, I don't know that I'll hold in the inner bitch in me...pregnancy hormones makes it hard for me to hold my tongue when I know I'm being treated poorly. I act before I think and it's bad. I'm not usually like that...I usually can hold it in long enough to get away from everyone and everything and just rant to Josh or online about it...not during pregnancy though...sometimes I make it, but with how long this has been going on (over a year) I don't think it'll happen...

On top of that, we have decided if I am treated that way, we will not be a part of that life. They will have to deal with the loss of their grandchildren/great grandchildren on their own. It is not right for me to be treated that way, especially in front of my children. When Cara was younger and not as much of a sponge it didn't bother me as much, but she is learning like crazy and mocks people. I will not allow her to be taught by them that it's okay to treat mommy, or anyone else for that matter, that way. I will not stand for it. They need to grow up and act like adults instead of middle school children. They need to realize that my family comes first and so do my values and morals. Josh agreed to this, which honestly doesn't surprise was me that forced him back into their lives so it's okay that I'm backing out. Makes sense right?

I hate the thought of losing more family. It royally sucks, but what else can I do? Family is so important to me...his grandma has never liked me because I didn't force Josh away from Penny, no matter how much I hated her myself at that point. Josh's dad didn't like me at first because I wasn't intimidated by him. He warmed up to me as time went on, and I believe with all my heart and soul, pushes from his wife. Papa...well I've always loved him and he's always been the laid back neutral party in everything. He's always been super nice and supportive of me and Josh.

I'm just lucky I will never lose my side of the family, Penny, Mark, Alea and Seth. And if Seth decides to treat his mother like Caleb, he has already been warned of the wrath and beating he will receive from me. This has torn him up completely so I don't honestly think he will ever do something like this to his mom. 2/4 kids forever is better than 1 or none though, right? It's wrong that ANY of her kids have treated her poorly but I know it's a part of life. It sucks.

So I went on a bit of a rant, and I probably will again and again with this subject because it just bugs the crap out of me, but for now I shall end.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Enough Is Enough

Everyone has those people in their life that they really want to hold onto through thick and thin. Sometimes you have to say "enough is enough" and just let them go.

I recently decided to let my brother in law and his wife go. He has treated me like crap since he met her approximately 2 years ago. She started treating me like crap the second she met me in person. They both treated me worse when I stuck up for my family and for what was really right.

That isn't what gets me to the point of giving up and letting go though. I can be treated like crap for a very long time without giving up. When they start treating my daughter like crap is where I draw the line. Cara's first 15 months of life has been mostly without these two. I went back to MI so she could meet him and start having him in her life. It ended at that trip. He saw her again on his wedding day and didn't even want to see her, he didn't want to see me either, and that was where it started tearing me up trying to hold onto this relationship because they were family.

Just a couple days ago my hormones got the best of me when he posted about how much he loves his niece, who is his wife's adopted niece, and realized he had deleted every picture of his blood niece that he had of her online. He cut his own blood out of his life when she did nothing to deserve it except have me as her mother. I thought all of our problems had been pretty much solved when I apologized, listened to her side of the story then let her know my feelings and my side of the story. I was wrong.

So last night I cut them out of my life. I can not take it any longer. I can not put my daughter and this new baby through this. It's just not good for them.

Speaking of my daughter, she just woke up from her nap. Later!

Monday, February 22, 2010

So overwhelmed

I'm 15 weeks pregnant. 16 weeks this Thursday (the day of my next OB appointment). Through half of December and all of January I was sick. Cara was sick for most of it too. Josh's mom came out for a week to help, though I pushed myself too much and got sicker. So my mom came out for 3 weeks and I haven't been actually sick since then. I got to rest and take it easier than I normally would've for being a married single mom.

Josh came home a few days after my mom left. The days inbetween were killer, but I got through them. It was nice to have a few days alone with Caralyn, but it was so hard at the same time. I have energy back but I get so exhausted so easily still.

We went to the zoo on Thursday this past week. I loved it. The zoo wasn't that great, but it worked to get Cara and myself into the fresh air and walking around. The next day we went to the aquarium. It sucked, but was enjoyable at the same time for me. Saturday Josh was sick with food poisoning. I took Caralyn out to go grocery shopping and stuff. When I got toward the end, I started getting a really hard pressure in my a boulder sitting down there. A little while later I started getting super sharp pains, like swords stabbing into my stomach and side. I took a shower to calm it down, but I started getting nauseaus so I went to the hospital in case I was going into pre-term labor again (it felt like that when I did at 29 weeks with Cara). The Dr barely gave me a second glance or listen (the corpsman and nurses were more concerned about me than the Dr. That's bad!) before telling me it was just Braxton Hicks contractions and Ligament Pain and it would just go away on its own. He didn't even hook me up to a machine to see if I was having contractions and to see if it was better or worse as time went on! I dealt with the same pressure all day yesterday (Sunday) and today it's finally easing up a little. I want to hurt that Dr. I shouldn't have had that problem for over 24 hours. The Dr. said he didn't want to see me back unless I started bleeding on top of the pain and pressure. So he wanted me to be losing my baby pretty much. Gah! He was an asshole.

So today I'm sitting at home. Cara's playing with some of her toys right now. She's not happy that I'm online, but she's living. She knows it won't last forever and that when I get off, I'll be cuddling with her and spending my time with her. Anyway...I have a few other things to do really fast before I get off here and be with her. Later y'all! I'll try to write a little more often.