Tuesday, February 14, 2012

True Love

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
We started dating on October 17, 2002...so almost 10 years :) We met only 2 days before!

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}
One of my best friends liked this guy...she invited me out to a local bar and grill to meet him to get my opinion on him. I brought a guy I was interested in too...though I didn't care what she thought of him, I was secure in my own judgement of men, unlike her. Two days later she invites him to go to the club with us. I tried getting out of it (I had just danced for 6 hours straight and had a feeling about what would happen). I was the only one with a license AND car together...so I drove, picking up a few of my other friends along the way. Towards the end of the night it was just me and him on the floor (the others went to get some water, was hoping he would go to since he had just said he was thirsty and I had been avoiding him all night). We went to a different part of the club and he ended up kissing me. The rest is history. (The friend and I are still friends...though she was mad for a couple months at me. She realized he really wasn't the right guy for her and is still searching for Mr. Right)

3. If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? {do tell}
On December 30, 2011 we celebrated (though, we had to celebrate early again this year) 6 years of marriage. The first couple years were hard, but we pushed through and are happy, though still working hard every day to continue to be as happy as we are. No one ever said marriage was a piece of cake...it takes a lot of hard work to make a marriage work :) I wouldn't trade it for the world though!

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding? If not, where would you like to get married? And will it be big or small?
We were married at Zion Lutheran Church in Monroe, Michigan. We invited 350 people and at least 85% showed up, so it was a big wedding. I've never seen so many people attend BOTH a wedding and a reception in my entire life! I felt so loved, and still do.

The first picture is the church before anyone arrived. Wasn't it gorgeous? The second picture is the front portion of the church (maybe 1/4 - 1/3), almost every
pew was at least partially full all the way back. It is a really big church.

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!
I call Josh my Wookie. He's a hairy guy...and he can do the Chewie sound pretty much perfectly (along with both of his brothers, one an octave higher and one an octave lower) and my son (who is higher also).

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
This is hard. I love many things about this man, but I've been making lists in my head of things we need to work on more to better our marriage when he gets home from out to sea...so those things are sticking in the front of my mind right now.

I love that he accepts the fact I'm not a great
housekeeper. He doesn't hate me that the house looks a mess many days. It's not all just because we have two very active toddlers running around here constantly (though that is a big part of it) but that along with me being very disorganized and easily frustrated when things don't go exactly as I plan it when I try to clean and declutter.

He is so supportive of all my endeavors. If I wanted to go back to school, he'd be right on board with it. If I really put my heart and soul into an a
udition I wanted to truly do, he'd support me fully and make it work so I could go do it. It doesn't matter what it is, he's on board if it makes me happy.

And lastly, I love that he can put his mind at ease while he's out to sea. I
know many husbands who worry themselves into insanity over their wives while they're underway. My husband always says "Thank you for being you, for being strong and able to take care of yourself and our kids. It makes these patrols a little easier with one less thing to worry about. Oh and by the way, if I haven't said it lately, thank you and I'm proud of you for your strength." It makes my heart melt when he's gushy like this, though it doesn't happen often. I guess this patrol has been hard on him and a lot of the other men out there with him. His mind is at ease when it comes to home though because he knows I can handle pretty much anything and everything thrown my way. I think I proved that when I gave birth to our son while he was out to sea and didn't blink an eye over it. He's been much more at ease with me being home alone since then.

7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?
No one knew he was going to propose. He had just picked the rings up that morning. He was going to wait until he knew for sure he was accepted into the Navy. He hadn't even gotten the chance to ask my parents' permission (which was important to me, even though if they had said no, it wouldn't have stopped me marrying him). On December 24, 2004 (my favorite holiday day...it always has been) we were at my Aunt JoAnne's house for family dinner and presents. After all the presents had been opened I got up, got a cookie and asked if he wanted to go downstairs to play pool and hang out. He said "in a minute" so I just chilled upstairs for a bit and ate a little more. Then I asked again and he said "In a minute, there's still another present." I was confused and was like "No there's not." but I went to sit in his lap anyway when he got down on his knee, with the ring box open in his hand and asked me "Will you marry me?" I instantly said yes and started crying and hugging him. My family thought he just hurt me when my cousin said "Get a camera! Don't you see the ring?!?!"

My family was furious that he didn't say anything to them so they could REALLY see the engagement, but they've forgiven him. I think partially because we've added two absolutely
gorgeous little kids to the family.

And after all was said and done that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Josh sat down with my parents and apologized for not asking their permission, explaining that he hadn't actually planned on asking me that day, but it just felt right to him. They still raz him about it but love him like their own son.

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?
Neither. He's not a holiday guy whatsoever. I always tell him "I don't expect anything but a card on any holiday and birthday/anniversary.", yet rarely do I even get that (even when he is home!). It's just the kind of guy he is. I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day anyway. 13 years ago my Grandma (who was a great friend to me) passed away. That year ended up being the WORST year of my life and a year I really needed her there for me. I've never fully gotten over it and Josh is actually happy that I don't make a big deal of it, though I still expect a card.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
Movie all the way! Give me comfy clothes and a good show or movie and lots of junk food. Just how we like it.

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
I'd love to travel the world with him. We are going to learn French, German and Spanish together, along with ASL and possibly other languages...that will help us get to the traveling part. I don't believe in going to any country without at least TRYING to speak their native language.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.
The only plans I had for today were taking my mom to the airport (she's been here 4 days shy of a month, only felt like half a week!). I ended up doing that, then my kids and I went to a friend's house to pick up some picture she took for me. After that me and my two little Valentines went on a dinner date to McDonalds and I got a pleasant surprise....I got to have a Shamrock Shake (my favorite!) which is exactly what I needed after today.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?
I'm hoping he'll make up for not getting me a card by getting me a card when he gets home to express how much he missed me and loves me. Either that or when he gets some time off (like a long weekend or something) taking me out to Idaho to see his biological dad, brother, sisters and the rest of the family. I miss them sooooo much! Especially my sister in law Anna, who is expecting her first baby in September!

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
Honesty at all costs and open communication. These are two things my husband and I will be working on even more when he gets home. We let it slip and take each other for granted way too much, and it's not healthy. We practically don't know each other anymore since having kids and that needs to stop before it can't be fixed.

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.
Oh I have so many pictures of what love means to me....I'm only going to post a couple though!

I've never been happier in my whole life, and it shows!

This was every family member at our wedding (only two not by blood or marriage). That is love to me...family that truly supports you and is happy for you and loves you so much as to share in the most special of days! We are still in contact with pretty much all of them, keeping each other up to date on any and all life events...it wasn't just an occasion that you're supposed to be there for each other, they truly wanted to be there. Many of these people traveled many hours and had to stay the night at a hotel just to spend our special day with us. We are truly blessed and loved.

Because of our love, and the love and support of our family, we created life...twice (so far, we are still contemplating more kids...one more thing to talk about more when he arrives home and has more time with our ever changing toddlers). That is the ultimate in true love. That and being able to stay in love while the kids are growing and changing constantly, which gives very little time to working on yourself or as a couple. Again, we are truly blessed. I love this man!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday MilSpouse Fill In #68

Thank you Wife of a Sailor for hosting!

1. What is your favorite winter memory?
Making a snow man with my neighbor Jesse. He was an only child and treated me like a princess. He was my favorite "big brother" even though he wasn't related to me. He even saved me from his best friend (one of my actual big brothers) when we played snow football. Winters after he moved just weren't as fun.

2. What is your current favorite TV show?
I have so many! I still love General Hospital, then there's Switched At Birth, Make It Or Break It, The Lying Game, Covert Affairs, White Collar, Royal Pains, Sanctuary, Eureka, Burn Notice, CSI, CSI: Miami, Once Upon A Time, Grimm, Glee....oh there's soooooo many!

3. What was your favorite thing that happened in January?
My mom arrived in Washington for a visit! Granted, the first 2 weeks she was here we were all sick thanks to a relapse of the bug my kids and I had before she got here (so we were sick for a month...my mom for a week while here)...but she extended her trip until February 14 so we can still get some things done! YAY!

4. What is the best sound in the world to you?
A laughing child. I love hearing my babies laugh! My son has the greatest laugh in all the world, it melts my heart every time I hear it. My daughter has a high pitched laugh and it drives me insane sometimes, but hearing it, I know she's happy.

5. What is the biggest lesson you have learned as a MilSpouse (or significant other)?
Personally, I've learned that I can not fully trust almost anyone on the boat. I've found many MilSpouses to be lying backstabbers...and very childish and immature. I didn't accept that behavior when I was in middle and high school from my friends, now that I've been graduated from high school for 10 years, I will not accept it from my friends, no matter how much I need friends in my life. The ones that have been this way are all at least 5+ years older than me too...so they should definitely be grown up enough to treat others with respect instead of like they're in middle or high school. So I just keep my distance. Maybe I just expect too much from people though. It wouldn't surprise me since most of the people I wanted to be around, even as a very small child, were adults rather than other kids my age.

The other thing I've learned...if you truly click with another MilSpouse, even when they move away, stay in contact with them. I've not lost too many friends from South Carolina by moving here to Washington (and them to their stations) but I do not talk to the two ladies I really connected with enough. We always tell each other the important things in life, but it's not like when we were living so close to each other. And now one of my best friends has moved back to South Carolina (from here) and goes to Italy every once in awhile to be with her husband. I need to talk to her more often too...though...we are trying to plan a trip for me to Italy to spend time with her and her family! I really hope we can make it happen before his duty is up over there! Would be a BLAST!

I've been lucky in finding a few good MilSpouse friends. I also have a MilSpouse sister in law (2 of them, but I only talk to 1, the other and her husband (my husband's brother) decided against being part of the family when they got married, sad, but it's the choice they made) which helps a lot too. Even the ones I'm around now, we may not talk often, but when we do and when we get together, it's so nice to have them around. I don't trust easily anymore and it's nice that there are other women that don't HAVE to have constant contact to know what they mean to the other.